Mr. Shelton GQ Interview
Though my mother wanted to name me Jerry Wayne Shelton, thanks to my father my full name is Robert Darrell Shelton. However, once I started working with students (which was when I was a mere student of 18 myself), my name shortened to Rob because many students can’t handle multiple syllables. I have been working with teenagers pretty much my whole adult life, and along the way earned a few degrees and got married (to Kathleen…over 30 years in the making! (the marriage, not Kathleen)) and raised two Geneva grads and pastored and taught and headmastered (not all necessarily in that order). In addition to being the Rhetoric School headmaster (pedantic for high school principal), is I currently teach eleventh grade Worldview Analysis and twelfth grade Bible Survey.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Either to find out that the New Heavens and New Earth are sorta like the Polynesian Resort at Disneyworld, or to have a few minutes of uninterrupted time in my office without things like unlooked-for teacher questionnaires coming across my desk.
2. What is your greatest fear?
That one day I will have to be the Logic School Headmaster again.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
4. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Maybe Shenanigans? Hijinks? Tomfoolery? Some might say that I overuse “Thanks for doing the minimum,” so if you want me to stop, start doing more than the minimum.
5. Which talent would you like most to have?
Same answer as number three.
6. Which fictional character do you most identify with?
Shouldn’t that read, “With which fictional character do you most identify?”
7. What is your greatest regret?
That I know so much about MLA format that I don’t have to look up how to properly cite sources (and that I know so much grammar that I would make the snarky reply to number six).
8. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Same answer as number seven.
9. How would you like to die?
Is it cheating if I say that I would not necessarily like to die? If I have to answer, I’m going to say that I would like to die right at the same moment of the Second Coming.
10. What subject would be your dream to teach?
How to analyze worldviews through MLA citation training.
Photo by Ashton Landis