Mr. Graham GQ Interview
Curby W. Graham
-Retired Army Intelligence Lieutenant Colonel
Married to Stephanie Graham – we met on eHarmony. No, really – we did.
Father of Claire and Vivian Graham, who will likely be the two tallest girls in Rhetoric School one day.
Bachelor’s in Humanities from UTSA.
70+ hours toward a Master of Divinity from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Never finished it, never will. Joined the Army and did interesting stuff for 22 years instead.
Master’s in Human Resource Management from Webster U.
Currently one class away from a Master’s in Cultural Apologetics from Houston Baptist University. Will graduate this Fall.
Apologetics instructor for all the seniors (That’s right boys and girls - starting next year you are ALL mine! Mwahahahahahahaha!!). Next year I will also teach a section of Historical Theology.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
To crush atheists and skeptics, to see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentations of their women. Well probably not their women. Most of the ones I meet have never kissed a girl in their entire lives. So maybe the lamentations of their Facebook friends? Then I would celebrate with a 20 oz ribeye, baked potato, sautéed mushrooms and a fine wine and afterwards enjoy game night with the family.
2. What is your greatest fear?
I am terrified of actually developing a fear of some sort. I don’t have any and don’t ever want to have one.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Bragging that you don’t have any fears. People who do that are annoying.
4. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Probably Army terms such as “good to go”, “too easy”, “roger”. And maybe “home skillet”.
5. Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to sing well and play a musical instrument. Zero talent in those areas. Likewise dancing. If I were ever to start a boy band they would have to call it “Rhythmless White Nation.”
6. Which fictional figure do you most identify with?
Gandalf. As an intelligence officer I had the opportunity to shape and influence events around me and provide counsel to my commanders. Never had a glowing magic sword though, which was a bit disappointing.
7. What is your greatest regret?
Apart from this interview? Well I would say not meeting and marrying my wife sooner. But it was in God’s timing and she was worth the wait.
8. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Becoming a husband and father. I have achieved a lot in my life but nothing compares to those in terms of significance and satisfaction.
9. How would you like to die?
One of two ways.
First – riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex with an American flag in one hand and a flamethrower in the other while leading a cavalry charge of 10,000 velociraptors into an army of atheists, communists, terrorists, orcs, trolls and nazgul.
Two - riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex with an American flag in one hand and a flamethrower in the other while leading a cavalry charge of 20,000 velociraptors into an army of atheists, communists, terrorists, orcs, trolls and nazgul.
My God, it would be beautiful.
10. What subject would be your dream to teach?
Art class with and emphasis on early French impressionists using Liquitex Basics Acrylic paint. Just kidding. I don’t even know what that is. I actually am teaching my dream class – I love apologetics and am stunned I get paid to teach it.