Mr. Upton GQ Interview
I’m married to my most beloved Brandy, and have two children at Geneva: Ariel (Logic), and Finn (Grammar). I have two older children, Briar (23) and Evan (18) who are figuring out life on their own now. I have now or have had an assortment of cats, free-range hens, rabbits, honey bees, finches, budgies, and hamsters about the house. We tried goats once… but we shan’t talk about that. I have a degree in Theater from Texas State, certification in Aviation Weather Forecasting from the U.S. Air Force, and have worked as, among other things, an operational forecaster in the Middle East and South Asia, a locksmith getting paid to break into cars and houses, a medical logistics technician, and a very bad salesman a long time ago. I would like to say that I’m really good and knowledgeable about anything really, but I am interested in so many things that I’m only really good at being curious… especially about things that are not particularly practical. I love stories, art, making, games, travel, and MMA. Philosophy, history, literature, and myth are all pretty much in the same stew as far as I’m concerned.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Something I can't quite imagine, just over the edge of the map past the arrow labeled "Terra Incognita". You have to cross the part of the map that says, "Here be Dragons" to get there.
2. What is your greatest fear?
Losing people given me to protect. Give me skydiving or tight dark tunnels or a fistfight over that any day.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Man... if I'm honest the things I deplore the most in others are things I deplore in myself... but I think that the ones that try my patience most wherever I find them are pride, sloth, lack of curiosity, and lack of a willingness to take risks. That's four, but you can take them as a package deal.
4. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I never overuse words or phrases. I always say exactly what I mean when I mean it.
5. Which talent would you most like to have?
Just one? What is the talent that includes the martial prowess of Bruce Lee, the engineering skill of Leonardo da Vinci, the poetic craft of Lewis Carol, the charm of Roald Dahl, and the sheer brass of Captain Sir Richard Francis Burton. Is "thews" a talent? I'd like that too. There is a word in German that means all of that at once, but I don't speak German so you have to find "which talent" that is.
7. What is your greatest regret?
Living with my greatest fear realized.
8. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Burning my ships on the shore to marry my wife.
9. How would you like to die?
10. What subject would be your dream to teach?
Ninjitsu and Apologetics. Mr. Graham has it now, but there can be only one...